3 steps to find your smile during your recovery
I have noticed a distinct difference in the way that the world treats me when I smile.
Following a string of bad weeks, my recovery taking its toll on me, my family forefront in my thoughts and not managing to see the wood for the trees, I decided to try something new.
I decided to smile.
I tried this because I felt that there was no alternative. I could either smile or get caught up in a whirlwind of self pity that had no beginning nor end.
I tried smiling at people, thoughts, memories. I tried smiling in the morning. At the market. Or whenever I realised I wasn’t smiling.
I took great pains to remember what I have to live for and all that is in front of me.
I am smiling at the future.
It dawned on me that my level of skepticism had reached its limits and my optimism could use some bolstering. You see, I had been working so incredibly hard at recovery that I somehow forgot to stop and count my lucky stars that I am alive.
So, here are the 3 steps that I am trying to implement:
Notice your frown
Every time I notice that I am not smiling, I paste a grin on my face. It can happen several times an hour but I persist. You see, I am not used to this expression of gratitude.
It sounds funny, but I admit it takes work on my part.
A friend suggested that I take stock of a few things that I am grateful for each day. So each night, with the kids, we go around the table and speak about the people, places or things that we thoroughly enjoyed.
If we remember.
So, I find this on par with things that I‘m trying like heck to implement because I see the good that it can bring.
Let your soul smile
What do you have to smile about?
What makes your soul happy?
Channeling exactly that truly helps to find my way, even thru difficult periods. What do I have to live for?
I often dream about going a full day without thinking about my stroke. How it would feel to run far and painlessly. About wrapping my arms around my mother. About the table filled with friends and family at every holiday.
These are just some of the images that help me to smile from my gut. All the way deep down, where it warms me.
If I don‘t conjure up such clear, important intentions, my smile will not last.
Repeat
I am trying to lift the heaviness, the day to day slog that can cause a harsh reality check and let myself rise above. It might be only a flash in my day, but when I think about how the flash felt I get a warm feeling.
It‘s a feeling that I need more of. It‘s like summer at the beach, sipping a fruity drink while watching my children from afar. Or the smell of Christmas time, with carols floating in the distance and the huge anticipation of waiting for Santa.
So, I smile as much as I can. Thru the hard stuff and the complicated, messy stuff.
If I forget, or if it just seems too hard, I‘m trying to give myself the kindness and time to let it wash over me.
It is the difference between me stood on a Tokyo sidewalk, dodging other people’s umbrellas and cursing not so quietly under my breath. I am utterly miserable, consumed by the misfortune of life.
And, last week, when we took the kids clamming. It was foul weather and we didn’t have the right equipment. We dug for those rascally clams for an hour with the rain beating down, the wind coming from all directions and our plastic shovels nary a clam to be found.
It was so much fun.
When we got off the beach, soaking wet with our clothes stuck to our bodies, we were giggling at the fact that we were definitely the worst at clam digging with our measly collection in our plastic bucket, I noticed a man observing us. I politely said ‘sugoi’ (congratulations) about the bundle of clams all tied up in a proper net bag at his feet.
After snapping a few pictures we hurried to the car where we clambered in, wet and satisfied. But the man was chasing after us! He wanted to share his clams (proper loot) with us! I was gobsmacked. He just kept placing more and more in our toy plastic bucket.